PopcornJackTerry

Lisa Simpson tells us that, in the Chinese language, they have the same word for both “crisis” and “opportunity. Her father then tells us that word is “Crisitunity.” I don’t speak any of the Chinese dialects, so I can’t tell you if that is true or not, although I’m willing to bet even if it is, it’s not the word Homer thinks it is. Lisa’s statement, and the fact that it invokes a ancient culture that is revered for its mysticism while coming from the animated mouth of an idealistic 8 year old girl, carries profoundness and weight, but it also points to a core truth. A crisis can be an opportunity, or vice versa, all depending on how you look at it, and that comes down to attitude.

Surprising to some people, I tend to have a more negative attitude than might be expected. I tend to think of it as a fatalistic one, tied into the larger circus in my head that features such acts as low self-esteem and questioning the very purpose of why we exist. Not to get all Jerry Lewis, “Let’s make a clown movie in a concentration camp” on you, but I push myself to be entertaining and outgoing, as much as I can, as my way of raging against the dying of the light. I know the boat is sinking, but I don’t want you to think about that, so I’m going to keep the band playing as long as I can.

There is certainly nothing in my life that I would qualify as a crisis, but it is definitely a period that could fall on one side or the other of the crisitunity line, if I choose to look at it that way, and that is my job. I do like it, mostly because I like my career in general. The job itself is fun enough, but it is no long term situation for me, a fact that is hammered home with each subsequent schedule. When I’m not working a day shift, I’m with one or two (or even three) other bartenders, and that’s no way to make a living.

If I want to make this a crisis, I could. I could run around like a Muppet with my hair on fire, screaming that the sky is falling and all hope is lost. Believe me, I feel a bit like that every Monday when the new schedule comes out. But I push myself to look at it from the other side. If money is tight, it means less time out, more time in. I got three book shelves crammed with many titles I haven’t read. My TV is chock full of movies and shows I’ve wanted to watch and haven’t yet. The beach is only a few blocks away. And, did I mention I also write? Yeah, plenty of time for that. In fact, when I’m done with this, I’m off to the historical society and library to do some research for the next book. (And also to buy a lottery ticket, because why not?) But there’s more opportunity than that, and those are the opportunities I’ve had.

This job is (mostly) the result of my own doing. Y’all might think I’m a great bartender, and I am, but if you were a hiring manager and you looked at my resume, you’d take a pause and wonder why I’ve had 9 jobs in 10 years. Granted, some of those are secondary jobs – Southernmost Mixology, Rumologist – but it’s still a bit of a checkered past. More importantly, most of those jobs have ended because of my decision. I chose to move back and forth between Key West and the Northeast all those times, and also switch jobs while in both locations. I know for a fact I have lost out on several jobs because of my perceived flightiness. If anything in all of this, that represents the crisis. Have I flaked myself out of my own career? If I have, it was worth it because of the opportunities I’ve had.

I got paid to live where millions of others pay to go. I got to watch my nephews grow up. I got to work at some iconic places and with some industry leaders. I got to meet people from all over the world. I got the chance to create my own class, to spread my love of cocktails and spirits to other people. I got nine novels under my belt, and people who actually look forward to reading the next ones. Simply put, I’ve had so many great opportunities that I have started to take them for granted, and I need to remind myself of that when I look at where I’m at now. And, I also have to remind myself that more opportunities are coming, because of who I am, what I can do, and who I have met. Right now, I’m just paying the band for all the dancing I’ve done.

And I know I ain’t done dancing.